This week gave me lemons, so I wrote about Dunkin' lemonade
"I’m fucking evangelical about the Dunkin’ lemonade" is a sentence I wrote this week.
Frankly, there’s a lot I didn’t like about this week, and most of that stems from this business about Ms. Marvel and Spider-Man. It’s been a while since I got truly up-in-arms about superhero comics, but, to be fair, it’s also been a while since a young female character got so blatantly fridged—never mind the most prominent Muslim superhero in the world.
I got to write out my thinking on that—thinking that’s shared by legions of righteously angry fans and critics—for Screen Rant in a piece that’s coming soon. So that marks two whole publications about Marvel Comics for Kate O’Donoghue, which I never could have predicted a year ago. I’ve been writing about superheroes and comics, both privately and publicly, for well over ten years now, but rarely do I stray from the relatively safe grounds of DC and indies. It makes publishing my Fantastic Four essay over at Shelfdust all the more exciting. Look at me! Taking risks and trying new things!
Speaking of trying new things: it’s time to talk about the opposite. Because while I’m always willing to experiment in my writing and other “intellectual work,” in all other areas of my life I’m far more likely to latch on to one particular thing I like and never let go.
Like the lemonade at Dunkin’.
Last summer, likely on our way to or from the comic book store, Cassidy and I were absolutely craving lemonade, and the fastest way to get it was Dunkin’. We weren’t expecting anything good—Christ above, it’s Dunkin’ Donuts, I love it, but I can acknowledge what it is—and, in fact, might have been expecting something mediocre-to-bad. Something too sweet, too watery, or some combination therein.
Oh god were we wrong.
The Dunkin’ lemonade, I swear to god, is straight up the best lemonade I’ve ever had, and now I will accept no substitutions. Cassidy likes the flavored version, but I think unflavored, unsweetened is best—it’s sour, it’s lemon-y, and a medium is less than four bucks. Never have I felt so strongly about a beverage from a chain company. I’m fucking evangelical about the Dunkin’ lemonade.
Cassidy and I stopped at Dunkin’ literally every week, and for probably a month we got the same exact order every time. I even labeled it the “Wednesday Special” in my account—easy access for reordering. I think we probably would have gotten those lemonades every week for months on end. Nothing could have stopped us. We were, like, feral about this lemonade.
But—little did I know last AUGUST, because you fall freaks want your pumpkin coffees earlier every year—it’s a seasonal drink, and one day… it simply disappeared from the Dunkin’ app. You can imagine how distraught Cassidy and I were upon discovering this, literally yelling at each other as she drove us home from the comic store. And so began our many lemonade-less months. Our dry spell, our cross to bear. Didn’t anyone every bother to tell this goddamn company that sometimes people want lemonade in January???
But it’s May, it’s sunny, it’s my birthday next week, and two weeks ago Cassidy told me to check my Dunkin’ app. And the rest is history.
Happy lemonade season, assholes. Tell me when you try the Dunkin’ lemonade, because I know you’ll be telling me that I’m so extremely right.